When I was a child I idolized my parents marriage so much I would play house in my toy kitchen almost all day long. Of course with playing house came the need for an imaginary husband and as time lines would predict, the addition of a baby doll to the family. Playing house became my everyday thing as though I was determined for it to smoothly turn into my real life one day.
My mother was very social during this time of my life and often I had a play dates while my mother entertained a friend. If the play date was with a girl friend they would be added to my playing by being a friend over for lunch or dinner with a pretend husband themselves or something else like playing the pet or child.
I'll admit I enjoyed playing more by myself than with other people but my mother also had friends who had sons around the time this game was popular with me. These sons would usually take the role of the husband while I threw them out of the room to go to work while I talked on my play kitchen phone, cleaned the area I played in, made pretend dinner, and cared for the children.
More times than not I would play an actress with these boys and devise a different personality and character, (as one young boy asked me to do because he didn't want me to be his wife because there are other little girls in the world and he doesn't get why he's stuck playing with me) but then one special boy came to play.
This was the boy who when I sent him out to work and called a girl friend on my house phone came into the room and hung it up - - telling me I wasn't allowed. The boy who would only let me pretend speak to my mother on the phone but made it a point that I wasn't allowed to invite her over. This was the boy who told me I wasn't allowed to call him at work, he'd be home at his usual time. This was the same boy who wouldn't come back in the room from work and pick up the baby unless I was already holding it. I absolutely had to argue that he wasn't playing right and he was suppose to come home and kiss the baby and I was suppose to call him a few times a day and tell him how much I loved and missed him.
Well, we played this game for a few days, or a few times, it is a childhood memory. What was he doing while he was at work? Well, he was rearranging all my toys and building me a new home in the other room, he was playing with cardboard and building a car to take me out dancing in. But, with no friends on my pretend phone or to invite over for a lunch greeting while my 'husband' was at work, playing house became boring. He tried solving the situation by being more in touch with what I wanted when he came home from work. He started to wash his hands in my pretend kitchen, not the pretend bathroom, he added to the game so I could watch him, he mustered picking up the baby doll while it cried, and he even called my mother herself and asked her to join for dinner on one of the weekend days he now was taking off and spending with me. He was quite pleased when he realized my father would come too and must of felt a tad silly that we didn't invite them sooner.
Well, all was well except that everything had to be his way and he never wanted to play another game. I tried telling him that I like to play detective with another boy friend of mine, (our slogan's was “I'll figure it out”. He had a pencil (<in his ear like my dad) and pad and I a magnify glass. We were trying to solve real cases) well, anyway, there were other games I enjoyed playing, and even offered for him to help come up with a new game, but he insisted on sticking to the routine of because he had to work. And so he let me invite a real friend over one day and we had lunch in my play kitchen. My pretend husband was not okay with this idea because my attention wasn't on him. I was busy while he was working and we weren't spending our days, me doing my (what he now made feel like and even called>) chores, while he worked. I wasn't calling out into the other room with him as we kept track of time anymore. And so, he designed me pretend jewelry that day and ruined my game by coming home at lunch time, yelling that dinner wasn't made yet, and then when I tried sharing my jewelry with my friend, well, lets just say she didn't want to play at my house anymore if he were there.
Still insisting on playing this game, I was determined to make my having friends while we played house and him working – work. So I invited my detective friend over and they worked together, but the whole scenario was one big mess when he HAD to bring the friend home for dinner after work. We tried again (again he wasn't ready to play a new game) and I had my girl friends over in imagination for lunch, and for a play date for our kids that were growing with age, but he made a knife that day with cardboard and duck tape with my dad (saying he was making me a knife for my kitchen) and came home and pretend slaughtered them. And then I insisted not to play with him anymore.
And then he gave me all of his little toy soldier's who he played pretty violent with, keeping the one he melted and burned for himself, and I chose to place them in a box in my attic along with a few other items. However, he made me put his GI Joe away in the attic too though I didn't want to because I still wanted it to be my barbies date; but he insisted.
I still have relations with this man who's now in his thirties. He's still stubborn, over protective, controlling and well, I love him. He tries to compromise but everything has to be his way and by his book and he truly believes it's to be fair. He has a consequence for all of my actions where he doesn't feel like the main victor or up on a pedestal. He does not get that there are natural reactions for actions in life that I cannot control, but lately I try and shower myself with forgiveness because I don't like being angry and think feeling peaceful is a much better option. So theory of the story is; the main character of a person never changes, but that doesn't mean you can't change the things you do and how you approach things.
My mother was very social during this time of my life and often I had a play dates while my mother entertained a friend. If the play date was with a girl friend they would be added to my playing by being a friend over for lunch or dinner with a pretend husband themselves or something else like playing the pet or child.
I'll admit I enjoyed playing more by myself than with other people but my mother also had friends who had sons around the time this game was popular with me. These sons would usually take the role of the husband while I threw them out of the room to go to work while I talked on my play kitchen phone, cleaned the area I played in, made pretend dinner, and cared for the children.
More times than not I would play an actress with these boys and devise a different personality and character, (as one young boy asked me to do because he didn't want me to be his wife because there are other little girls in the world and he doesn't get why he's stuck playing with me) but then one special boy came to play.
This was the boy who when I sent him out to work and called a girl friend on my house phone came into the room and hung it up - - telling me I wasn't allowed. The boy who would only let me pretend speak to my mother on the phone but made it a point that I wasn't allowed to invite her over. This was the boy who told me I wasn't allowed to call him at work, he'd be home at his usual time. This was the same boy who wouldn't come back in the room from work and pick up the baby unless I was already holding it. I absolutely had to argue that he wasn't playing right and he was suppose to come home and kiss the baby and I was suppose to call him a few times a day and tell him how much I loved and missed him.
Well, we played this game for a few days, or a few times, it is a childhood memory. What was he doing while he was at work? Well, he was rearranging all my toys and building me a new home in the other room, he was playing with cardboard and building a car to take me out dancing in. But, with no friends on my pretend phone or to invite over for a lunch greeting while my 'husband' was at work, playing house became boring. He tried solving the situation by being more in touch with what I wanted when he came home from work. He started to wash his hands in my pretend kitchen, not the pretend bathroom, he added to the game so I could watch him, he mustered picking up the baby doll while it cried, and he even called my mother herself and asked her to join for dinner on one of the weekend days he now was taking off and spending with me. He was quite pleased when he realized my father would come too and must of felt a tad silly that we didn't invite them sooner.
Well, all was well except that everything had to be his way and he never wanted to play another game. I tried telling him that I like to play detective with another boy friend of mine, (our slogan's was “I'll figure it out”. He had a pencil (<in his ear like my dad) and pad and I a magnify glass. We were trying to solve real cases) well, anyway, there were other games I enjoyed playing, and even offered for him to help come up with a new game, but he insisted on sticking to the routine of because he had to work. And so he let me invite a real friend over one day and we had lunch in my play kitchen. My pretend husband was not okay with this idea because my attention wasn't on him. I was busy while he was working and we weren't spending our days, me doing my (what he now made feel like and even called>) chores, while he worked. I wasn't calling out into the other room with him as we kept track of time anymore. And so, he designed me pretend jewelry that day and ruined my game by coming home at lunch time, yelling that dinner wasn't made yet, and then when I tried sharing my jewelry with my friend, well, lets just say she didn't want to play at my house anymore if he were there.
Still insisting on playing this game, I was determined to make my having friends while we played house and him working – work. So I invited my detective friend over and they worked together, but the whole scenario was one big mess when he HAD to bring the friend home for dinner after work. We tried again (again he wasn't ready to play a new game) and I had my girl friends over in imagination for lunch, and for a play date for our kids that were growing with age, but he made a knife that day with cardboard and duck tape with my dad (saying he was making me a knife for my kitchen) and came home and pretend slaughtered them. And then I insisted not to play with him anymore.
And then he gave me all of his little toy soldier's who he played pretty violent with, keeping the one he melted and burned for himself, and I chose to place them in a box in my attic along with a few other items. However, he made me put his GI Joe away in the attic too though I didn't want to because I still wanted it to be my barbies date; but he insisted.
I still have relations with this man who's now in his thirties. He's still stubborn, over protective, controlling and well, I love him. He tries to compromise but everything has to be his way and by his book and he truly believes it's to be fair. He has a consequence for all of my actions where he doesn't feel like the main victor or up on a pedestal. He does not get that there are natural reactions for actions in life that I cannot control, but lately I try and shower myself with forgiveness because I don't like being angry and think feeling peaceful is a much better option. So theory of the story is; the main character of a person never changes, but that doesn't mean you can't change the things you do and how you approach things.